Unwanted Fertility is a series of nine oil paintings that illustrate my experiences with abortion and sterilization this year and the accompanying recurring dreams I had. The first dream revolved around various objects being stuck in my stomach that I was unable to get out. In the second nightmare I was a wild canine whose paw had gotten stuck in a trap. In a last ditch effort to escape, the creature gnawed its own leg off. The last dream was one I had before my bilateral salpingectomy surgery. In the dream, I was standing near a river when an osprey flew from the sky and removed my fallopian tubes. The act itself wasn’t violent, but rather left behind a feeling of peace.
Growing up as a Christian, I was always taught fertility is something that everyone should desire. I was “born to be a mother.” But what if you don’t want children? Symbols of fertility and purity are woven into the paintings- pomegranates, figs, and madonna lilies. I chose to leave out my tattoos in the first panel to highlight the fact that female bodies are often valued solely based on their ability to reproduce. Common abortifacient plants hover above the painting of my uterus to represent their healing nature. Taking inspiration for the title from my Doctor’s diagnosis for me, Unwanted Fertility tells the story of how I reclaimed my body through these procedures.
2025, 48 inches x 152 inches, oil on canvas
